dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
