Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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