Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
