There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
