It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
