my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
