Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We need to get me chipped asap
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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