My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i came on her dog
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
