I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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