She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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