He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My bed smells like the plague
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
