I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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