From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
