so explain again why im purple
no
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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