Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
