Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
