i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
