ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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