I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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