i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
