i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
