ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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