me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
