but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
