Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
