eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
