I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
