Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
