you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
