How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
