So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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