we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
