the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
