It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
