My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
