i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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