Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
