Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
