ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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