I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
