$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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