I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
