I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
