my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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