Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
