i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i dont even know how to be here
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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