you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
