guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
