Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
