who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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