Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
