You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
