I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize