Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
