My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
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