I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
