That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize