I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
