Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
