he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
do nipples grow back?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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